Well I kind of forgot that we could just write these about the TV we've watched recently, and now I feel silly for not using this as a platform to air out my televisual fixations. But, as I tried to think of what show to write about in this post (recently I've been watching Succession, tried out The Sopranos, been deeply disappointed in Falcon and The Winter Soldier) and I realized how separate I've felt from TV recently. I know, bad timing with this class.
But I've thought a lot about my relationship to narrative, in film and television, since coming to grad school, or maybe longer than that? The last couple years since leaving my undergrad have been years of Getting My Shit Together. Trying to organize my life, follow through on projects and ideas, generally be a more efficient person. So much of that has been about trying to create better habits, and so much of THAT has meant watching less TV.
I prided myself on not starting a new series for nearly the entire first semester of grad school. Now that I think back that's kind of a lie, I tried out Euphoria and Infinity train, working diligently not to slip into a binge watch. It worked for a bit. Then I started watching Hannibal and everything went out the window.
I've spent a decent amount of time trying to figure out why I binge watch, what feeling or need the experience satisfies. I think it probably goes back to the basics-- mimesis and catharsis, especially in quarantine. The type of show that really grips me, hooks me in is the one that offers a little bit of fantasy fulfillment, usually in the form of a romance canonized or 'shipped. Seeing some part of my own desire acted out in front of me allows me to feel the experience as if I am performing the action, living the fantasy. To switch tabs back to homework or select "no" when Netflix asks if I'm still watching disrupts the seamless flow of proxy experience, and to some extent devastates me just a bit.
So to avoid the binging, to invest in my own life/education/career rather than those of the imagined knock-out-hotties of network and cable television, I've built this little emotional wall between me and my TV. Which, I believe, most people have. It's just a bit sad I think to watch TV with the distance of an emotionally stable, productive member of society.
Anyways, that's my deep emotional admission of TV addiction, no reason I'm posting this an hour before our last class!
So, I believe I've heard you talk a bit about TV and the need for a narrative to live vicariously through, and this is a great elaboration of it. I kind of agree with you about it being sort of sad to have that emotional wall built. It's sort of like losing a friend; TV's been there through so much and now it won't be. And it's strange to talk to people who aren't emotionally invested in TV shows or films the way I have been in the past. Like, if you watched Buffy and you DON'T have strong feelings (positive or negative) about each of the guys she dates, then what was even the point?
ReplyDeleteNot to sound too much like an old person here, but the way we watch television now feels so much more primed for unhealthy viewing habits than ye olde television of yore. I'm reminded of back in November/December-ish when I was watching Dawson's Creek with my parents. We were bingeing it about as much as my parents ever binge shows, which is to say like 2 episodes a day. It was a lot of fun, and I got deeply invested in the romantic pairings on the show -- but because I was viewing it with others, watching the show was about the social activity first and the narrative second. I didn't end up contributing the same affective labor towards viewing that I often do when I watch television alone, probably because it was more about the socializing. And it was great! Pacey and Joey forever.
ps I also started Infinity Train, it didn't catch on for me:/